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Awale Mag

Magazine for Africa's Creativity

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scouse jokes one liners

(This post was last modified: 11-03-2009, 05:15 PM by, (This post was last modified: 31-03-2009, 09:55 PM by. He went up to the bar and saw my friend's dad behind the bar and said 'Bloody hell mate how many pubs do you own around here?'" Share ; Comments; Subscriptions; Sign Out; By. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. Everyone knows Scousers have got the best sense of humour going. An United fan, a Scouser and a Chinese man are in the hospital maternity ward. The mum dragged him off the bus as everyone was laughing." Q. I'm winning'. me too god i hate liverpool fc and the fans .. not one of them has a job . Three Liverpool Supporters were in a pub and spotted a United fan at the bar. He dashes into the players lounge and phones his mother to tell her all about it. The conductor takes it and moves on. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." Best of all so many of these are interchangable, ie: could easily be modified for similar Australian geographical areas :p. It's a dish they eat, usually they are known as Liverpudlians. I was walking behind a lad and this girl tried to stop him and in a Scouse accent he goes 'sorry love - I don't speak English'" - Chris Watts, “No lad I can’t come out tonight, I pyar stink of cream. "Oh, Christ I wasn't aware of that, thanks". Just had this one come in. Popcorned1, At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three scousers buy only a single ticket. stick a video player under his arm . A friendly trucker stops... the joke is just one of many funny jokes on Joke Buddha! Sign up for a new account in our community. If you see a Scouser on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him? His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. Trip him up and give the lady's purse back to her. But these ten clean bicycle Scouse Eggs Joke: 2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. By How ya doin?" Three Americans and three scousers are travelling by train. Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you? The violence is getting too much, your sister has been raped twice, your dear Grandmother has been attacked in the street, there is raw sewage running down the roads, its becoming more like a war-zone every day. "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees. From things overheard in the chippy to some absolute gold from Scouse nans, these are the moments that show Scousers really have got the best sense of humour around. A Manc & Scouser Find A Genie A manc (someone from Manchester) and a scouser (someone from Liverpool) are walking down a street talking football. After the show, Cilla said, "Bob, if I'm not being too forward, I'd love to have sex with an older man. Morons. Hardik: Very Nice Stories I said Love Is All Around Us. He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days. Some great Scouse jokes. Or as I call my brother-in-law "leeching scum" ;). liverpoolecho. A drunk man was in and behaving badly and swearing so my friend's dad got him the scruff of the neck and threw him out. Turns out what she actually meant was orthopaedic" - Dionne Stevens, When you subscribe we will use the information you provide to send you these newsletters. A man goes on a business trip to Liverpool. Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Okay. Someone shouted 'if it was a pie youd have caught it'" - Paul Mason, "I was at the Everton game once an this proper sweet little old lady started goin mad at the ref behind me an shouted 'OH YOU BLOODY DIPSTICK'. A lady gets on a bit worst for ware, taking ages to sort money out, driver getting a bit impatient. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The Manc kicks an empty can and a genie pops out. Mine was meant to be a joke too, you know "calm down calm down" wave your hands up and down type thing? I have a nice car with alloys attached right now! His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. city of culture now thats a joke gity of doliets more like! Drunk old scouse man can't help but hear him and mutters 'Fuck off lad, I used to pick my load up in Liverpool, drop it off in Ha... read more. - Helen Cox, "Some fella proudly farting in the waiting room in the old Walton hospital. The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. somebody wrote underneath 'put St John on the wing'" - Clifford Roberts, "My fella worked in a bed shop and once a woman came in asking very loudly if they sold paedophile beds. Why do little scouse girls put fish in their knickers? Bet you would not of come down to Anfield and said all that tonight in front of 45000 of us :D ! scouse jokes a primary school teacher explains to her class that she is a liverpool fan. All humor is subjective, of course. A truck driver stopped for a meal at and was just served when a huge caravan of Hells Angels roared in. Q.What's the difference between Batman and a Scouser? Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave. Man looks at me and says 'I don't even know her'.

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